What Do You Do When Things Aren’t Coming Together?
We’ve all been knocked down from time to time.
It doesn’t make it right or pleasant, but it is an opportunity to regroup and take a closer look.
I’m no Pollyanna, but I choose to look on the bright side of every situation . . . not that everything has a silver lining. Some stuff just stinks! But we can move on from devastating situations.
There is that expectation to move on. Not that it’s easy . . . and don’t believe it when people say “it will get easier.” Each loss, each disappointment isn’t easy to accept . . . even if you’ve experienced it before. You grieve, you lick your wounds . . . and you move on . . . through your grief and disappointment.
Life Offers Opportunities And Challenges
Nothing comes together effortlessly.
Some opportunities turn your priorities on its ear. Re-evaluation of those priorities seems to be a constant in my life. I think I have things in order to find new information that sets me back.
You may have experienced the same.
It seems with every opportunity there’s a challenge or two. Some may be spelled out. Others entirely elusive.
Or you believe you’re on the right track only to find it leads to a dead end.
The majority of the time, you can make your life work giving you happiness and success in all aspects. It does seem we do get tangled up in the web of missed opportunities and struggling with the challenges before us.
It has been said and proven that what we think about most often comes to pass in our lives. If we’re constantly worrying, we bring upon us more to worry about. That’s why a positive viewpoint is essential.
I’m Not A Firm Believer In Affirmations Unless I Make Them Up Myself
I’ve read some great affirmations over the years that sound wonderful and are easy to memorize.
These work for the person who wrote them. They are their affirmations. Use them as a model to create your own.
Here are some examples:
I Live a Positive Life and Only Attract the Best to Me.
I Am Peacefully Allowing My Life To Unfold With Love, Success and Abundance.
I Am Making Positive Choices in My Life.
I Am Successful.
I Am Loved.
I’m a Magnet for Success and Good Fortune.
I Am Breaking Through Old Habits of Behavior and Moving Forward With My Life.
You know what you want out of life and you know what positive thoughts you should be saying to yourself on a daily basis. It’s nice to begin your day with a positive affirmation and several times throughout the day as well as close your day with it, too.
I remember an exercise from a self-help book I read that advised throughout the day to say, “I can buy that!” It could be a house, a car, something in a shop window, etc.
It didn’t work for me. The reason being I’d add “but I don’t want it.” I was giving the Universe the message that I didn’t desire material goods . . . including money to buy expensive items.
An affirmation only works when you believe what you’re saying.
I know people say to “fake it until you make it.” I’m not a firm believer in that. I believe what you say and repeat must be heartfelt. It must apply to you.
It must resonate within you.
Change Your Thoughts And Actions To Change Your Life
There are phases in your life when you notice that you’re attracting the wrong stuff to you.
I was attracting the wrong people and the wrong opportunities. I knew I had to change this. The mind is a powerful instrument. Make up your mind to change . . . and change will come.
You need to guard your thoughts and your actions must match your thoughts. Not an easy task, but do-able.
It also helps to visualize yourself doing or being what it is you want. See yourself in that car or outfit, with a special person or in a particular job.
Only attract those things to you that don’t belong to others. I would never want a job held by another person or the spouse of someone. I don’t want what belongs to others.
Have you noticed that the life of another person isn’t as wonderful as you might think. People always put their best spin on their situation — hiding what they don’t want others to see or afraid others will discover.
It’s not my intention to lie about my life nor is it my intention to reveal everything. I know many politicians say they’ll be “transparent.” This isn’t true and they knew it wasn’t true when they said it.
Quite honestly could you go around being completely transparent? Would you want everyone to know your thoughts, dreams and aspirations?
Of course not. Once you’re in a committed loving relationship you can reveal what is necessary, but I don’t think you’d want to know every single detail about another person’s life . . . maybe if there’s something dangerous or illegal. It’s something you need to decide.
Live Your Life With Purpose
It’s nice to know where your’re going.
It’s great to have goals and priorities. A plan is wonderful, if it can also be flexible.
There is always something new we learn about what we’re doing.
I had a major revelation about affiliate marketing that completely knocked me for a loop. I was devastated for days. I was even unable to work on my blogs.
I had some major decisions to make. I had to make adjustments in my thinking and to gain more information for me to create something positive and productive.
I had to take a long hard look at my priorities and how they stacked up against this new information.
I’ve made some changes and I’m still working on others. It is a process I’m going through. Sure, I could throw it all away and start over, but I don’t know if down the road I could find a way to salvage and improve what I have.
I know I need to let go of some things. That’s difficult for me, but it has been weighing on my mind for quite some time. When I’m ready, I will.
That’s important for you, too. Don’t go off making changes without giving it considerable thought and making adjustments along the way. This is a journey. You want to end up where you want to be . . . and if it isn’t what you thought it could be, you need to make the necessary changes. It is definitely a process with no easy answers.
Yes, but there are times when you discover that many may have moved on without you.
I remember how I lost interest in school when my best friend moved away. Sure, I had other friends, but with my best friend gone . . . I felt lost.
This demonstrates that at that time in my life I was a follower, not a leader. Without my leader, I didn’t want to go on and things didn’t really seem to matter.
Of course, I was down in the dumps when I walked home from school. My mother was fully aware of my best friend moving away and she wondered how it was going to affect me.
It did. Quite profoundly. But it didn’t have to and my mother didn’t want it to linger.
Getting Over It
It didn’t happen magically after baking cookies with my mother.
She would have loved that, but it did continue for a few weeks. We were asked to bring a wire close hanger from home. The teacher also said if we didn’t have one, she would have extras. So, I didn’t bother to bring a close hanger. I don’t remember the project . . . in fact I don’t remember much of those first weeks to a month of that school year.
I just know I did my school work, but nothing extra.
I don’t know what woke me up, but I was in my fog of sadness over not having my best friend with me. I looked around the classroom and noticed everyone was busy and having fun. I had a blank piece of paper in front of me. I looked to see what others were doing.
Oh my goodness! They were writing and drawing pictures about their first day of school — their first day of school at that particular school.
That was when I met my best friend. So I got to work on that. I did remember everything about it. And I ended my story with her moving away and how awful I felt. I even drew a picture of a dark cloud over me.
The teacher collected our assignment and we went out for recess. Some of my friends were talking about the assignment. They spoke about how they, too, had met their best friend and how the next year they weren’t in the same classroom and each of them made other friends.
Things did work out for them. And they would work out for me, too.
A Lesson About Moving On
The teacher didn’t seem surprised by the theme many stories and pictures took.
She was prepared with a story of her own. Yet, hers had a very different twist.
She remembered how she was the new girl at the school. None of her neighbors were in her class. She had friends outside of school, but not in school. Everyone had their own friends and there didn’t seem to be room for her to join in their games.
So she made the most of it by playing on the playground equipment by herself, eating lunch alone and walking home from school alone.
Well, one day several kids were out sick with a cold or flu which left many kids alone without their friends.
That’s when she was invited to play with other kids. They were so afraid of wandering along alone, they reached out to her . . . forgetting how they treated her previously.
She decided not to remind them of their rudeness and played with them knowing when their friends returned to school in a day or two she’d be out in the cold again.
But it didn’t happen that way. Some joined in accepting her in the group and some formed other groups. It was all part of how kids change from moment to moment.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling down in the dumps, but there is always a way of making friends and making the best of every situation. Yes, it is sad to be alone, but it’s what you do with yourself that makes the difference.
Many people feel like this and there are plenty of movies about it . . . in all phases of life.
Growing From Our Experiences
The only thing we can be sure of is nothing stays the same.
There is always change. Some good and some unpleasant. But we cope. We make the best of each and every situation. No matter how long it takes.
We learn to not let things bother us.
I found how I was missing something valuable by being down in the dumps. I almost missed that assignment. I was too busy not paying attention. The thing is, my former best friend was having a great time in her new school . . . making the best of her move. She may or may not have thought about me. It really didn’t matter because I didn’t know. Any more than she knew I was down in the dumps missing out on meeting new people and forming new friendships.
No matter what’s going on with you, you can overcome it and move on with your life. It does take some effort to look for the good and to put your best foot forward.
Just flow within the now . . . that’s basically all we have.
I remember a scene from an episode of All In The Family where Edith spoke about a snap shot of how all the action stopped in that picture. One minute they’re going on with life, pause for the picture, then continue on. It’s like that in real life. We’re constantly moving on.
If we’re not physically moving, our thoughts are. It’s seeing the next thing or doing something or making something or talking with someone. We’re constantly bombarded with thoughts. Some we act upon and others we ignore.
We may miss out on opportunities . . . or we avoided something unpleasant. But we have our set of priorities and we pretty much stick to them . . . until we realize we need to change them . . . open up a bit to new opportunities . . .
Life is ever changing . . . we can stay stuck or be happy where we are and ride it out through the end . . . or take a chance on doing something new and different . . . we may fail or succeed . . . and learn something in the process.
Every day if you’re aware of it or not are given options . . . most of the time we’re busy with what we’re doing to notice or we notice everything and are confused about weeding everything out . . . Life is a process . . .
Once again I don’t have answers for you . . . you’re the only one who knows what’s best for you.
I may know what’s best for me now . . . but I do try to keep my options open.
I wish you all the best in your daily experiences,
There are plenty of social media networks that are available for different types of communication.
It all depends upon what you like to use.
I have internet marketing friends who use Google + Hangouts.
I like it. We’re able to see one another and have a conversation. It’s fun when we’re eating different snacks and drinking different beverages. It’s comfortable and relaxing to spend a few hours discussing our websites or weekend plans or something we read or viewed.
I’m on the west coast, one is on the east coast and another is in the south. We also have a Canadian or two come by.
We Met From An Internet Marketing Group.
What’s great is that we’re in different niche markets and approaching our business from a different perspective.
On this particular night, the group leader didn’t extend an invitation to the whole community. He was selective in his invitations. It seems with any group that the “more the merrier” concept sometimes doesn’t work out. There are some who tend to monopolize the group. When this happens some of us have left the group and formed our own hangout.
This Got Me Thinking About Thanksgiving.
Even with friends and family, the dynamic of the group can be either pleasant or not so pleasant.
We sometimes get into a bind and feel we have to invite a relative, because they are a relative. And when that relative goes home, everyone is relaxed and enjoys their evening.
It is sad, but it is also sad to exclude certain individuals. What is the best approach?
That’s a difficult question to answer. Some people don’t have a clue that they’re difficult or what they say annoys others. They may be very aware of it and like to be annoying.
So talking with them won’t change a thing.
Would not inviting them change their behavior?
This seems doubtful.
Would you feel guilty?
Maybe initially, but the whole idea of bringing family and friends together is to enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner and to share with like-minded individuals. You want to have a happy and fun gathering, where everyone gets along and lends a hand.
I enjoy cleaning up afterwards. It’s relaxing for me. Also knowing what I’m doing is beneficial and part of the process.
After The Grand Feast.
I don’t know how it is in your family, but we take a bit of a break after dinner for cleaning up. Some may sit back and relax while their food is digesting. Some may take a walk.
We brew a fresh pot of coffee and bring out the pies and cookies. It’s a nice way to unwind from a busy day.
We may pop in a DVD and enjoy a movie or play a board game or have several games going with different groups involved. It’s always fun to sit quietly working on a jigsaw puzzle.
From Early Morning Through To The Night, I’m Reminded Of My Many Blessings.
We aren’t usually focused on announcing what we’re thankful for, but the thoughts do flow freely throughout the day and evening.
I do enjoy those quiet times when everyone is busy with their own thoughts and feeling while eating or doing other things.
I find it a personal thing, that can be shared, but doesn’t have to be.
This Brings Me Back To The Google + Hangout.
It’s a way of bringing people together to share, learn and receive some value from the group.
I like it. No reason to leave the comfort of your own home. But to be able to meet face-to-face and hear the voices of others.
I was surprised it was by invitation only and not an open invitation, but given some of the interactions in the past several months I can understand it.
And the beauty of these hangouts is that anyone can host one. There is a limit of 10 people. It’s a nice way of communicating and exchanging ideas, thoughts and feelings.
I’m not going to venture to speak for the host, but he may have been feeling like a few of us have that the group has changed. And with this change, the focus has changed with anger and a demand to fix what’s wrong with their website.
I like to fix it myself. I like to be given the tools and ideas others share and take what is freely given.
It seemed that the host was always on the hot seat to give the magic formula that would transform their websites overnight into an ATM machine.
It’s not that he doesn’t mind giving, but it can be draining to hear the same thing week after week where the one complaining hasn’t followed through with the suggestions given weeks prior to that. It does seem that there are some people who enjoy complaining and don’t really want to solve the problem.
This, over time does become annoying.
I like to just hangout, share what I have to share and enjoy what others have to share.
I Love Success Stories.
Even when things aren’t necessarily going well for me, I’m motivated by the positive stories of others.
I don’t take it as bragging, but sharing their happiness that it’s working for them.
If one person can do it, then there is hope for others as well. It is only a matter of time.
What About When You Outgrow Your Group?
This comes at different stages.
It’s not that you’ve learned everything there is to know. It’s that you’ve decided to move in a different direction.
It’s natural that our interests and priorities change over time.
Kids get that shocking revelation that a former best friend is no longer a friend at all. Things change. Maybe over a summer vacation or over a weekend.
It is unexpected, but change is something we’ve learned to expect over the years. It is also unpleasant, but we do get through it meeting others. It is all part of growing up and maybe finding yourself.
You may be the one moving on . . . rather than the one being left behind.
Something to think about for next time. Thanks for stopping by!
Isn’t It Wonderful To Wake Up In The Morning Feeling Great!!!
I was cold this morning. Even Lil’ Diva was snuggled in her blanket.
Temps dipped in the night and my temperature outside was 48° F. It was warmer in the house, but time to turn on the heat.
In an earlier blog post I mentioned how the warm weather was tampering with my enthusiasm of the fall holidays. Well, I can now officially say that I feel all full of Thanksgiving. Unless the temperature drops again in the 80’s or 90’s. Our local mountains have received their dusting of snow.
Weather And How We Feel
I don’t know if it’s the media or movies or books or even music that tell us what to expect during certain seasons.
Do we buy into this or is there some internal barometer that is a factor? I suppose it works in different countries who experience different climates. It could be the “norm” of our personal experiences.
I know there will be no snow on the ground in my yard, but I do like seeing it on the mountains. I do like wearing sweaters and sweatshirts or long-sleeved blouses.
I enjoy the warmth and fragrance of a hot cup of coffee or tea in the morning. Also a hot breakfast.
A bowl of soup and a sandwich is a wonderful lunch.
Interesting how weather and food seem to go together.
Hot Beverages To Warm The Soul
Many people throughout the year have to have their morning cup of coffee or tea to start their day.
I find it much more enjoyable during the fall and winter to warm me up. It’s always nice to have something warm before going to bed at night.
I need to buy some coffee and my favorite creamer to go with it.
I’ll continue drinking a lot of water. I’ve heard that hot water without coffee or tea is good for your skin. That’s a little tid bit that’s good to know.
I Hear The Ring-Ting-Jingle of Bells
This may be entirely imaginary, but with the cold temperatures, I’m thinking of Thanksgiving and the ride to Grandmother’s house.
It’s a traditional song that I thoroughly love. Some sing it at Christmas, but I believe it was written for Thanksgiving. Especially the line of “Hurrah for the pumpkin pie!” This I associate with Thanksgiving moreso than Christmas, but we’ve had pumpkin pie for Christmas, too. I think Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree mentions pumpkin pie in the lyrics.
I can definitely declare I’m thankful for the colder temperatures I’m experiencing this beautiful fall day! And the thoughts of Thanksgiving just around the corner.
My Mood Is Much More Favorable When The Weather Corresponds With The Season
It’s lovely to be in a festive mood.
I love the change of seasons, but when they don’t correspond with the upcoming holiday celebrations, I get in a bit of a funk. I don’t know if this affects you in a similar way — some of you may enjoy to have one season all year round.
I’m not into the extremes of the seasons, but I do appreciate the slight changes. It is invigorating. Makes me want to bake.
I do hope whatever climate you’re experiencing and whatever holiday you’re anticipating brings joy and laughter into your life this glorious day!